Nonhlahla and Amahle
The baby’s Zulu name, Amahle, translates as “beautiful”, a perfect description for the dark chocolate skin as smooth as velvet, and the big brown eyes that kept a close watch on me from across the small room. The contrast of her complexion against her off-white corduroy overalls was striking. Her pink t-shirt matched the color of the embroidered letters adorning her outfit, spelling “PRINCESS.” Yes, she was a beautiful princess sitting on the lap of her mother, Nonhlahla, barely more than a child herself.
Only 18, Nonhlahla held her 10-month-old daughter and shared the story of how her life changed the day she learned she was pregnant. She was an ordinary teenager, hanging out with many friends and going to parties. She frequently skipped school and, as a result, failed 11th grade. But soon her life would change, and friends and school would become secondary concerns.
One morning in July 2008, her sister woke up after dreaming Nonhlahla was pregnant. Common in Zulu culture, Nonhlahla believed her sister possessed a gift from ancestors and went to the clinic for a pregnancy test, confirming her sister’s premonition. Nonhlahla’s mother urged her to go to the hospital for an HIV test, and as they sat with the counselors and heard the difficult news—HIV-positive—tears flowed down Nonhlahla’s face. “The most difficult part was knowing... knowing that I’m positive. It took a very long time for me to accept that I have the virus. I was really stressed out and lost a lot of weight… I worried about the health of the baby and how the father would feel. Will my mother still treat me like me? But not, ‘Oh I’m going to die’ or anything like that.”
Struggling to accept her status, she spoke to one of the counselors in McCord Hospital’s Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission (PMTCT) program. Unable to afford the fees, they reassured her she would receive the treatment needed to deliver a healthy baby, with financial support from the Gift of Hope program. With great support from her mother, who took her to all of her visits at McCord, Nonhlahla started on ARVs, anti-retroviral drugs, and had an easy, uneventful pregnancy with no complications and no side effects. But with the stigma that still surrounds HIV in South Africa, she was afraid to disclose to her partner. “I was scared… I knew that he had HIV but I was scared.” She waited more than a year, and his reaction was one of shock. He has not been tested, and it is something they’ve never discussed.
In fact, Nonhlahla has not disclosed her status to any of her friends, and it was only after delivering her own child she learned her two older sisters also were HIV-positive. Nonhlahla recalls, “I didn’t tell my sisters. My mom did all the work. We talked about everything as girls but not about HIV, because I didn’t feel comfortable.” Now that the family has shared the news, they help and support each another, which has made life easier for Nonhlahla.
Nonhlahla has returned to school and has plans to become an engineer and work in the automobile industry. Her family is very supportive, and her mother and sister care for Amahle. Nonhlahla is no longer in a relationship with the baby’s father, as he cheated on her following the birth of their daughter. She has struggled to let go of her anger but says the passage of time is helping. Nevertheless, she says it is hard to let go of him, especially because the baby looks just like him. He helps by purchasing milk and diapers and some clothing, but is otherwise no longer involved.
Life for this teenage mother has certainly changed. She has given up a lot, including a year of school and carefree time with friends, but she has gained so much. Reflecting on her life since Amahle was born, Nonhlahla says, “Right now I really don’t have friends… I used to be a normal teenager. I would go to parties… go to the mall after school and come back late. Now I just come home. I just can’t wait to play with Amahle!”
With the help of the Gift of Hope and the PMTCT program at McCord Hospital, Amahle is HIV-negative and has a chance to live a long, healthy life. Nonhlahla currently is healthy with a high CD4 count but is regularly monitored at the Mamanengane Clinic, along with her daughter. Lifesaving anti-retrovirals will keep this new mother alive and healthy. For now, the smile on Nonhlahla’s face as she looks at her beautiful daughter, tells me that she knows she has gained far more than she has given up.